Stop falling in love with me!

I have always felt subliminal messages from the millions of men around the world, including Entourage's Jeremy Piven pictured above, that are mercilessly trying to seduce me with their minds! Finally, NOW I have some acknowledgment from the judicial system! I am the victim here!

The Smoking Gun has reported that a New Mexico Judge has signed a restraining order preventing David Letterman from subliminally seducing a Santa Fe woman:














"'Dave responded to my thoughts of love, and, on his show, in code words & obvious indications through jestures and eye expressions, he asked me to come east,' she explained. A coded marriage proposal would follow, added Nestler, when Letterman announced on a show promo, "Marry me Oprah." The name Oprah, Nestler reported, "had become my first of many code-names." Letterman's lawyers Monday filed an expedited motion to quash Judge Sanchez's ill-advised restraining order."

WORDS OF WARNING TO THE FOLLOWING WHO ARE CURRENTLY ATTEMPTING TO SEDUCE ME:
1. Fred Durst: I let you kiss me once, but that's all there was between us. MOVE ON!
2. Snoop Dogg: You're a great dancer, but you lied when you said I was your "favorite girl". I can't trust you!
3. Will Ferrel: You're married baby, call me when you drop that bad habbit!
4. Jeremy Piven: Stay the hell away from.....ah screw it, meet me in Brooklyn at 9 o'clock!