No more POT TARTS for you!

That's right I said "Pot Tarts".

Teenage 7-11 employees, gangsta rappers, and college underachievers everywhere hung their heads with grief last week when DEA agents busted an Oakland, California drug operation who's trade was cleverly re-naming common snacks and treats which they altered by adding Marijuana to the recipe.

Thanks to TSG, I am posting pictures of some of the confiscated goods below. These are real treats, which have been sold in California for quite a while, and are only now being shunned. Can't these people look the other way, and give the operators of Beyond Bomb a break and some points for creativity? Ok, I know I know, its illegal! Whatever.....enjoy

A Note to People with Money.....

SPEND IT, GIVE IT AWAY, F'ING EAT IT FOR ALL I CARE, but don't leave it for your lawyers to deal with after you're gone, because if you do, a fairy will lose her wings and Talia will cry at work!(my apologies to successful estate attorneys who actually enjoy this miserable crap)

Here are the reasons why you should spend your money before you die:
1.) Your money WILL NOT end up going to the people you name in your will
2.) Your money WILL end up going to lawyers, accountants, appraisers, court costs, and worst of all....THE IRS
3.) Your surviving family members will be bothered for years with phone calls, interrogations, painful reminders of their loss of you, and ridiculous requirements of all surrogate's courts
4.) Dont even think about testamentary trusts with income to all your neighbors for life and remainder to charity! These give poor first year attorneys a migraine, grey hair, and 10 extra lbs due to chocolate consumption!

What you should do:
1.) Live extravagantly during your lifetime.
2.) Give your grandchildren large gifts for every birthday, holliday, etc.
3.) Pre-pay your funeral costs
4.) If you've still got anything left after items # 1-3 give me a call and I'll put your money to good use!

Deep breath........stretch...........ok, enough ranting and back to friggin probating (gag)..........

If I were a judge....

THIS is the kind of thing that I would do!





















THE SMOKING GUN has reported that a Texas Bankruptcy Judge recently quoted a line from Adam Sandler's Billy Madison, in his opinion dismissing a motion which he deemed incomprehensible!

In a footnote, the judge stated:

"Or in the words of the competition judge to Adam Sandler's title character in the movie, 'Billy Madison', after Billy Madison had responded to a question with an answer that sounded superficially reasonable but lacked any substance,

Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I've ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response was there anything that could even be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Deciphering motions like the one presented here wastes valuable chamber staff time, and invites this sort of footnote."


Bravo, Your Honor! That's one of my favorite movies of all time! :)